Women Aren't Funny -- We're Hilarious

A funny woman is like a dog that can walk on its hind legs.  She’s brave, whip smart, uncommon, perhaps the next step in the evolutionary ladder, but even if she makes them howl with laughter most men would prefer she was trained to bring them a beer.  Of late, several men who make their living peddling laughs have being booed for voicing the opinion that women aren’t funny.  I think it’s time for a woman to admit that these dudes are right.  Women aren’t funny – to them.

Humor is so subjective.  Everything from the person telling a joke to the setting in which the joke is told determines whether or not we find it funny.  The same edgy joke that gets a full belly laugh among your circle of friends could fall completely flat in front of a crowd of strangers.  So for Adam Carrolla to say that women writers were always the weakest links on TV shows  expresses his opinion, his personal sense of humor.  I think he’s narrow-minded and I think he looks like a skinny Frankenstein, but I don’t think either of us should get reamed for our rude opinions.

I cringe when I even think about those clowns tormenting their balls on the old MTV show Jackass – and I don’t even have balls.  Which is exactly why I don’t get it.  Just like monster trucks and my little ponies were developed to appeal to different audiences, different people find different things funny.  When it comes to humor, studies have proven that men think violence is much funnier than women do.

Professor Sam Shuster conducted a yearlong study in which he unicycled (hilarious) around the streets of Newcastle and documented the responses of over 400 individuals.  Of those who responded verbally, almost 95% of women expressed amusement, approval, or concern whereas over 75% of men expressed attempts at sarcastic or put-down type humor.  Particularly in the late teenage years when male virility is at its peak, men became very aggressive in their comedic remarks and behavior.

One particularly funny side note is that while men attempted humor more frequently, their comments were rarely original or particularly side-splitting.  Two-thirds referred to the obvious lack of wheel (“lost your wheel?” for example).  Few women attempted humor and were more likely to respond with concern.  Which leads to my next point about why women aren’t perceived by men as being funny – we just aren’t as mean as you guys.      

The fairer sex is the more empathetic sex, and our ability to easily identify with people who are different than we are makes us more likely to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed for a person being mocked than we are to join in on the poking fun.  When we see someone fall down we wonder if they hurt themselves and don’t feel comfortable cracking up about how funny they looked biting the dust until we’ve made sure they’re okay.  Does the rarity of a woman who likes to give her pals a good verbal bashing mean we aren’t as funny as men?  Ridiculous.

Scientists generally agree that women have an advantage when it comes to the functions of the right brain – the creative center.  We’re more imaginative and whimsical than men, which is exactly the kind of funny that tickles me most.  Moreover we’re unafraid to be child-like and silly which creates the kind of feel-good funny that I find really enjoyable.

There are several theories about why women aren’t funny – and quite circumstantial studies which show only marginal differences between the sexes – but mostly importantly I’d like to address the theory that evolution favors other qualities in women, making a golden sense of humor less likely to be an enduring trait in our gender.  (The reverse is allegedly true with men, that women link humor with intelligence and therefore value it more in a partner.)  I think the only true difference in appreciation of humor is that men don’t know how to express themselves in survey form.

Perhaps when given a list of qualities like “kind, pretty, funny” men don’t rank “funny” as highly.  But regardless of what a man marks on a questionnaire, the real world experience is that a relationship full of laughter has a solid foundation.  Sure, there are probably insecure men who feel emasculated by a funny girl but I think the kind of man who would discount a girl because she can hold the attention of a room better than he can isn’t much of a man at all.

The University of New Mexico recently published a study that found men were not only funnier, but smarter than women because these qualities equated to mating success.  What a joke.  Not only do the published study results show only the teeniest margin of difference between men and women (measured by the ability to caption a cartoon, clearly state of the art science) but the judges were four men and two women which can easily account for the slight favorable points towards male caption writers.

Further, the way “mating success” is determined in this study makes absolutely no sense.  Participants were basically asked to detail how frequently they get laid and given points for multiple partners.  Come again?  Do scientists really think women use their wit to get banged as often as possible?  For a woman, mating success is being able to please and be pleased by the same, committed partner for as long as they both shall live not to have a variety of seed sown in her like some slutty garden.  

A sense of humor DOES equate to mating success for women – it helps us deliver criticism with tact, end silly arguments, and forgive insensitive errors of male judgment.  So it’s cool, we forgive you for not realizing how funny we are.  And you can ride a unicycle if you want, we won’t even laugh when you fall.  At least, not until after we’ve checked to make sure you’re okay.